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Sp r i n g 2021 • forwardHR | 7 HEALTH AND WELLNESS One step at a time Acknowledging grief: The first step toward achieving happiness By Pauline Krutilla, MS, CEAP, Director of EAP at Advocate Aurora Health T he past year has been challenging for all. Because of the pandemic, almost everyone lost their normal routine and the loss of life has been incalculable. We are now experiencing collective or communal grief. Communal grief happens when a community, society or a country collectively experiences extreme changes or widespread loss. e first step in moving toward eventual happiness is acknowledging and accepting that many people are still sad or grieving. We may experience collective grief on many different levels. People grieve over jobs and livelihoods lost, missed celebrations such as graduations, weddings and vacations, or feelings of loss of being separated from loved ones for an extended time. ere is a deeper sense of grief that comes with loss of life due to COVID-19. Because of pandemic restrictions, many people unfortunately died apart from their loved ones. Families were denied an opportunity for last words and closure. ey were forced to say goodbye through a short video call from a hospital bed. Many were forced to mourn apart from their family and friends. Even people who haven't lost someone personally are still surrounded by frequent reminders of death and sadness. All feelings of loss are valid; all feelings of grief are well-founded. Every loss should be acknowledged — since these feelings are important to the person experiencing them. So, how might we move beyond grief toward unity, connection and eventually find happiness? Clinical psychologist Carmen Inoa Vazquez, co- author of "Grief erapy with Latinos," offers her insights: "Right now, a lot of people are experiencing a sense of communal grief… Some people who have lost loved ones in the past will tell you that eventually — and the amount of time varies — they started to take a different approach to life and find meaning in the loss and in their future. During and aer the pandemic, people will try to pay more attention to their unfulfilled wishes, or have conversations with loved ones … and affirm their love for those people. In this way, the pandemic can bring unity and connection…." At Advocate Aurora Health, we've seen firsthand that mental health concerns are more prevalent than ever. ose struggling with mental health issues are encouraged to: • Take it one day at a time (on some days, one hour or even one minute at a time) • Lean on their support system • Take breaks from upsetting media content • Take care of their body through exercise, relaxation and eating well • Escape in hobbies or find a project to finally tackle, giving oneself a sense of accomplishment • Reach out and stay connected with others (phone calls, texts, video chats) • Seek professional help, if feeling overwhelmed or depressed People may wonder if they'll ever be truly happy again. It will take time to heal, but we will. Whenever life- altering events happen, a grieving process should be expected. If we want to "refresh, refocus and reconnect" with employees, leaders should encourage them to seek the support they may need right now, as we all wait and prepare for a better tomorrow. ■ If you are interested in learning more about mental health, wellbeing and employee resilience, contact Advocate Aurora Employer Solutions at employersolutions.aah.org. Pauline Krutilla, MS, CEAP, director of EAP at Advocate Aurora Health, is available to talk about what makes an effective Employee Assistance Program, and what every employer needs to know.